Just Wing It!

I saw this post once on Broseph Idas Instagram account that made me burst out with laughter. Now it wasn't exactly the funniest thing since George Bush got thrown with two slippers but it made me laugh nonetheless. It was just plain black text on white that read "The older you get, the more you realize no one has a fucking clue what they're doing. Everyone is just winging it." After the laughter subdued I couldn't help think about our parents that raised us without the technological advancements of today. Surely if we are currently 'winging it' then they should have Colonel or General status by now whilst us mere mortals only roam about with 2nd Lieutenant status. 

As I am slowly but surely starting to move off the calender in terms of birthdays, I cant help but commend our folks for raising us without Internet, baby books, health warnings, cellphones and Netflix. Massive round of applause to the old folk out there for keeping us off the streets and entertained with library cards, sticks, yo-yo's and a deck of cards. 

As brilliant as the Internet is, it is also the main and biggest reproductive system of nimrods. Thanks to the Internet, every Tom, Dick and Harry is now a 'know it all' and because Wikipedia said so, it has to be right. This causes a mass influx in nimrosia because not only are we all winging it and flying through stormy weathers, we have to weather the storm with some first officer who Wikipedia'd his way through flying school. 

Surely there were nimrods in our old folks heyday so how did they handle them? How did they protect themselves from nimrosia? There definitely was no Internet so that was one good thing for them. Do not get me wrong, I love the inter webs especially when there is zero chill on certain aspects. I just cant fathom the nimrosia. 

Isaacs still looking...

Still Hustlin'

As the job search continues and intensifies out here in the STO, I begin to comprehend just how tough it is for immigrants to land a respectable job outside their native country. Constantly trying new approaches and getting rejected on the go makes me think of all the young thunderkatts out there on the dating scene. Lets face it, its kind of the same thing. You put yourself out there, only showing your best appearance, have one or two meets and then BOOM.... dead silence. You don't hear anything back and also don't want to contact them too much in fear of coming across as stalkish, creepy or a bit rapey. Nobody likes that rapey vibe! So instead you just wait and start doubting yourself and that "maybe its me" sadness kicks in. Yes, its tough out there on the job front and if you not ass kissing, you fresh outta luck young man. You need to have a fresh stench of ass on your breathe if you wish to be employed. 

Despite all the rejections and me not having ass breathe, that "maybe its me" sadness has not kicked in yet. I credit this to that African hustle mentality and Thabo's "I am an African" speech. Also a recent trip to my beloved Mzansi in celebration of SnowFlake's birthday with friends was not only refreshing but also rejuvenating. I've said this before and I will say it again: If you ever feel crap or kränkt about your life here in Europe, take a short left and go visit Africa. You will be amazed at how happy people are despite their circumstances and on going battles they face. Everyday it's back to the drawing board for me but its that African hustle and the spirit of my peoples back home that keeps me going. 

If I can show these peeps some African magic and happiness, then surely I can impose that magic here too. I mean just look how happy they are after waking up at 3am to hike Lions Head. Just need to break down the barriers and kick in the door. 

Do not give up, Never give in and refuse to accept 'No' as an answer(This applies to the job hunt guys, not the dating scene). No means No in any other context gents, lets not emanate that rapey vibe. Nobody likes that.

Isaacs looking... 

Digital Footprint

As the new year approaches and folk start reflecting back on their 2014 and start with the "new year. new me" crap, I actually only have one resolution...  

"Be More Aware of my Digital Footprint" 

I cannot emphasize this enough kids, take care of your digital footprint! Have you ever Google'd yourself and see what comes up? Web links, images, videos, disturbing news, etc. With myself and numerous mates being on the job market due to retrenchment, we obviously started Googling and searching each other to see which incriminating data and images comes up. My God were we shocked! Let me tell you right now that I am so overjoyed at the fact that technology was not around for my teenage and adolescent years. Within just a few years of becoming a techno slave, I have a digital footprint so nasty and clear that even Ray Charles can see what I've been up to. My mates weren't any better as one of them has "Hitler'd a b*tch" and the other was literally trash talking the same company where he is now applying for a job.

Take care of your digital footprint people and be careful with what you put on the net and what you say. Once its out there, its out there and you stand a better chance of curing Ebola than erasing digital you. To the new age parents out there, please don't publicize your kids life on the internet. That young thunderkatt or thunderkitten will probably be forever bullied with all the incriminating naked pics of him or her online. Give the lil kid a chance in the digital world at least. Yes, I know you want everyone to see how cute your prince/princess is but that same everyone includes pedophiles that is now probably beating themselves off to pictures of your little one in the bath. Rather change the privacy settings so that only your family or close friends can see those pictures. 

I for one would NOT hire myself or any of my mates after entering a search in Google or any other search engine. With that being said, I'm off trying to clear my digital footprint and re-brand myself. 

My gift to you this Xmas.... Go Google yourself.

Isaacs IN....

Some things are better left unsaid....

My slogan for all health issues has always been "some things are better left unsaid". That was until about a week ago (NO! Stop! It's not time to do the Shmurda dance to Bobby Shmurda's Hot N*gga). I know, its difficult to NOT break out into Hot N*gga after saying "about a week ago" even if it is by coincidence. As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted by myself due to Bobby Shmurda, some things are better left unsaid. That is the great health advise given by Dr. Ross Morris himself. With everything going around, World Aids day being celebrated and getting older, I could no longer take Dr. Morris advise and tested myself for everything. All the tests itself is not the scary part, its those 10 days that you sit and wait for results. That wait is the excruciating part. 

I literally sat and thought of all the possible ways you can contract some shit. All the possibilities of that lingering pain in your knee. Random chest pain, why my toe nail is falling off, why my ankle hurts? That throbbing pain and little 'ball' at the back of my head. Random blood here and there. Can you get Ebola when your dick touches the inside of the toilet bowl when you sit and piss? Or maybe prostate cancer from slapping my balls on my passed out friends face during Hermanus weekend away trips? So many scenarios played out in my head that it was actually difficult to sleep during those tedious 10 days.

When the results finally came in, I was as happy as a white man in Europe(yeah I said it). After years of abusing and battering my body with unhealthy ingredients and booze, not a single damn thing is wrong with me(no checks were performed on my brain or mental capacity) and I have a clean bill of health. That being said, Life is short and nobody gets out alive so enjoy and make the most of every second you got. 

I'm definitely living more cautious and taking care of myself now but living healthy don't guarantee shit! Living healthy doesn't stop that 'ol fucker Cancer from knocking on your door or getting knocked over by a bus or attacked and beaten to death by SD supporters or Neo-Nazi fuckers. You can live healthy all you damn want and still slip and fall in the shower while rubbing one out. That will not only be very sad but also funny for the paramedics and coroners performing the autopsy on your healthy living dumb ass.

Isaacs IN 

ps. Don't forget to hook a brother up! 

End of an Era

After 8 years of services rendered and loyalty, we have been thanked with a GFY and work out your notice period. Being made redundant is actually not all that bad. Myself and all the 50+ "redundees" can now focus on our CV's and look forward to a fresh start. The initial shock, hatred, anger and depression only lasted a few hours and was quickly calmed and soothed by the thought of the leftovers. This brought much needed joy and laughter.

It's a real pity we have to work the 4 month notice period even after being told we no longer needed. Could have focused on Game 2 of our STO vs VIE basketball series. During Wiener Wiesn Fest 2014, LaFaille, Maggz and myself jetted off to Vienna to join the festivities and also hand out a whoppin' to the VIE katts on their own court. 

Wiener Wiesn 2014

After a brief team huddle and game plan strategy, we took on the VIE katts and within minutes were up 12-4 and 25-10 at the break. The VIE katts looked deflated and without their star man Roos Dookin, they looked directionless like Ray Charles behind the wheel of a F1 car. Apparently Roos Dookin was in Berlin that weekend but later sources revealed that he was actually hiding away in his apartment out of fear for that ass whoopin' in his own back yard. What followed in the 3rd quarter I cant recall due to CoachAwesome's overwhelming musky body odor. I was tasked with guarding him and choosing to play without a top on definitely worked to his advantage during the 3rd quarter. With me being dosed and light headed due to CoachAwesome's pungent odor, he was free to score a few easy buckets. This in turn gave SimonSez rejuvenated spirit and with one sip of his water bottle (which I'm now convinced was filled with muti), he played like a man possessed. He must of dug deep into his Ancestral history because he started handing out ass whoopins like it was the 1800's. With SimonSez on full Westbrook mode, the game was tied at 50 and despite LaFaille's best efforts, we lost out 52-54 at the buzzer. 

After freshening up and picking up our bruised ego from the court, we headed off to Wiener Wiesn (Vienna's Oktoberfest) to partake in the festivities. As I was still light headed from the basketball game, not much can be remembered from the Wiesn.

they serve non-alcoholic as well

Fun was had by all and it is definitely something to do and a must experience when you are in Vienna that time of year. Game 2 is apparently taking place in the STO and the date is yet to be confirmed. Should our employment situation change then maybe we can fly back to VIE instead. For now, we just basking in the ambiance of our new found freedom and working on our resume. 

Hook a brother up! 

Isaacs IN!

Thank You Brazil

Just over a month ago we were all still so captivated by Brazil and the mouth watering clash between the hosts and Germany that was set to take place. Now 30 days later nobody gives a flying rats ass about Brazil or the struggle people were protesting about. Hell, we all being fed the Russia-US-Ukraine BS and a dash of Palestine with some Syria sprinkled here and there. Just like Willy Wonker, the damn media knows just how to 'boef' us and keep us distracted. Sugar coating all kinds of shit but I digress, Thank You Brazil, Obrigado! 

You accepted myself and Mzansi friends that has never traveled and embraced us with your culture, enthusiasm, passion and Portuguese. Even though you threw a few surprises and curve balls our way, you were marvelous nonetheless. Obrigado. 

After 20 hours of travel and 3k for a transit visa that was never even checked once, SnowFlake and I arrived in Sao Paulo. We still needed to catch another flight to Florianopolis with 6 hours to kill. After devouring some delicious yet strange Brazilian delicacy(it's actually called coxinha and its amazing), SnowFlake did what she does best. That left me with my all time favorite hobby and pastime: People Watching. 

BR 2014 Crew on the Copacabana

Taking the people watching game global was always a dream but like I mentioned before, there is a fine line between people watching and being a damn stalker. From my astute observation just sitting in Sao Paulo Guarulhos Airport, a mere glimpse of Brazil but accurate with the stigma and stereotype nonetheless. There was an abundance of booty and breasts among the women and the men are rapey looking as fuck! Blondes are scarce hence them drooling and staring at SnowFlake as if she were a unicorn. 

When we arrived in Florianopolis, I just wanted a warm shower and nice long session of dropping the kids at the pool. To my dismay and horror, I found out that in South America, you cannot dispose your shitty paper in the toilet. You have to discard it in some brown paper/plastic bag next to you. Failing to do this will lead to you clogging up the entire regions pipes. Needless to say the whole damn village will be well pissed at you. 

My Brazilian Doppelganger

After a marvelous week spent in Florianopolis and meeting some great peeps, we arrived in soaking wet, overcast Rio. Despite the initial weather, the scenery and energy was breathtaking and amazing. The women are as stunning and voluptuous as the reputation they have. The men are all tanned and half naked so SnowFlake was having a feast with eye candy(I only found this out when we got home, what an idiot). The cuisine is divine and hospitality impeccable. I can go on and on and on about how amazing Brazil is but at the end of the day, you need to experience it for yourself. Don't believe all the bad press you read in your BBC's and your CNN's. Get out there, experience it and when you return, maybe you will also suffer from #ADIDAB as Poena and LayRoo call it.

Maracana Stadium before kick off

With Rio 2016 set to take off and be one bad ass Olympic event, you can rest assure that myself and the BR 2014 Crew will be back there, come hell or high water. 

Once again, thank you Brazil.

Isaacs IN.... 







*ADIDAB means All Day I Dream About Brazil. Poena coined that phrase on his return to Mzansi.

Know Your Party

As many of my fellow Mzansi countrymen/women journeyed to the polls today to cast their vote, I cant help but think just how many don't actually know what they voting for. I was astonished and a bit flabbergasted after taking a "Know Your Party" survey on the News24 web site to find out that my views was a damn not aligned with that of my supporting party. Do not get me wrong, it wasn't exactly life changing or altering my perception of life as the Sunday walk of shame and Swedish summer does. But it did get me thinking about my peoples back home. How many of us actually read our supporting parties manifesto? Do you know the oppositions manifesto? I mean lets be honest, it doesn't make a difference anyway, the ANC will continue to rule for the next 15-20 years. The ANC should not win this election, but they will.

I hope the survey stays on the News24 website well after the elections so that we can actually go back and reflect. Anyway, I am done with my rant now. I also promise never to bring up religion nor politics as this is not that kinda blog.

Stay tuned for more exciting news. Brazil is only 27 days away, I've got the alcohol(and essentially Colin) under control and I'm planning on taking the stage soon...

Isaacs...