On a Friday night whilst alone, I got a sheer glimpse of what lies ahead for me in the single life. I was sitting at a window facing table eating fresh homemade carbonara with avo on the side. Sipping some red wine and listening to late night jazz on Spotify, I thought to myself "damn this avo goes great with carbonara". The second thought that crossed my mind was "dude, its Friday night. You alone anyway, you might as well go out".
Yip, like the latest evil Kermit memes making the rounds, I also have this inner demon that I need to hush from time to time. So, instead of going out, I opened my books instead. I really chose the tough route this semester and with everything already in turmoil around me, I selected Criminal Law and Penology just to enlarge my brown hole even more.
So while going through my course material instead of giving in to my inner demon, I stumbled upon an ironic piece of writing. I cant paraphrase it as its already perfect in its original form so here goes "If a father gives his naughty child a moderate hiding in order to discipline him, or a policeman gets hold of a criminal on the run by knocking him to the ground in a tackle, their respective acts are not unlawful, and they will therefore not be guilty of assault, despite the fact that these acts comply with the definitional elements of the crime assault."
Wait what??? Firstly, If anyone even tries that crap in the Nordics you are probably looking at 2-5 years in jail. And that is just the poor policeman. You do not want to know what prison sentence awaits you if you dare touch your kid over here. Sure, rapists gets to go free and maybe get a slap on the wrist or worst case, 12 months in prison BUT don't you dare discipline your kid over here.
Now, stick with me here, the extract is from a South African Criminal Law textbook and is only applicable in Southern Africa. Do not get me twisted, I will never discipline Mini-me the way we were disciplined back home. If anything, she disciplines me! And should anyone even think of disciplining my Mini-me, I will probably write the follow up blog post from a Swedish jail cell.
The point I was trying to make is that myself and SnowFlake come from contrasting worlds and our entire existence is train lengths apart. You literally have someone from the southern tip of Africa now living in one of the most northern countries in the world. Our background, upbringing, infrastructure, values, mentality, beliefs, struggles and principles are contradicting on almost every level. Is it then that strange that we broke up? Also, why don't they serve avocado with carbonara? That shit is delicious!