Friday, 31 August 2012

End of Summer Sale

As summer drastically comes to an abrupt end in Sweden, the festivals get less, outdoor pubs and parks are derelict, shorts and skirts are replaced with leggings and denims and the warm friendly smiles vanish. The end of summer is not all bad though, because with the end comes "sommar slut rea". This means end of summer sale in Swedish and should not only be confused with clothing and shopping sprees. Oh no my young thunderkatts, I was referring to 'the pull' over here. If you at this point still don't know what we referring to, please stop reading, do yourself a favor and subscribe to "Garden & Home" my friend.  

Just as with any last minute closing sale, there are a few things to be made aware of. Please allow me to elaborate and highlight two points:

*Be prepared for a lot of crazy people running around trying to grab(what they assume to be) the best deal.
*Avoid 'flashy and shiny' things. Try and look beyond the surface if you want something to last longer than the weekend.

But probably thee most important point I would say, have fun!!!! You can literally pick up 11 items for the price of one. The chance of getting buyers remorse is also eradicated by 'price over value' ratio. Always bear in mind that everyone else came with the same budget, however, you have been saving up and 'holding back'  the entire summer. Now it is your time young man!!! So to everyone that didn't capitalize on European Summer 2012, I say unto you my brethren, go forth and take sommar slut rea by the horns. As my beautiful people in South Africa would say "Feel it, it is here". Within that massive pile of items, there is a bargain and gem for you! However, if you only reading this on Monday, September 3rd, sorry buddy. You missed out on the sale of the year. Purchase a pair of Crocs, subscribe to Garden&Home and cry yourself to sleep.

Colin Out.......

Monday, 13 August 2012

Way Out West

Where do I even begin? If you haven't been to Way Out West yet, do yourself a favor and slap yourself in the face while evaluating your life and purpose. Apart from Tomorrowland, Way Out West is thee festival to be at. The lineup is average, the beer is expensive, festival food and regulations are horrendous, alcohol prohibition is extreme in the Nazi sense BUT the scenery is amazing! Imagine a conference of only beautiful people spanning over 4 days filled with expensive alcohol, late nights and strobe lights. Sure we enjoyed great acts and performances like Common, Miike Snow, Florence + the machine, De La Soul, Bon Iver, Gnucci, Spoek Mathambo and others but the highlight is the amazing talent. I'm sure that even if you were to stay in the same hotel as all the Miss Universe contestants, you still wouldn't be able to match the superior beauty and talent Göteborg offers during Way Out West

Everyone everywhere is sporting sunglasses but not necessarily to protect their eyes. Oh no my friend, this is for scouting or self-preservation reasons. Depending on your relationship status, one of those two options will suit you just fine. Then again, can your spouse/partner really be pissed at you for admiring the beauty around?  In the wise words of a great French man I know "c'est bon ca". The aforementioned French man literally lost his mind when he saw all the stunning ladies in the city

In church you always hear about how beautiful heaven and paradise is. How there is only lovely people, everyone is young, healthy and you feast forever. Well Way Out West is heaven because all of your dreams come true and the streets are lined with gold!  
I enjoyed it so much that the sad reality only struck me as I got on the train back home. I was still in party mode and thought that all the other passengers were too, besides, they still had their festival tags on. To my (not so surprised) amusement, they weren't. For this was the train back to Stockholm. Back to the beautiful unfriendly capital

Colin out....

Wednesday, 8 August 2012

Too Hot To Handle

Say what you want, but Swedish women are amongst the hottest and most beautiful women on planet earth. Yes, Yes, I know. Brazil blah blah blah Latin American, Eastern European blah blah blah. Yeah, I hear you BUT when you think 'high concentration of fine females in the same proximity' nothing beats Sweden. For this reason I personally think there is/was nothing wrong with Usain Bolt celebrating his 100m dominance with a few lovely Swedish ladies. Hell, if you are the greatest track athlete and fastest man on earth, you should be able to celebrate however you want.

I've been residing in Sweden for quite some time now and I can testify that women all over the country are not only breathtakingly beautiful. They are also well educated, informed and surprisingly friendly. I literally fall in love every day and the streets of Stockholm are packed with these stunning women, who are as tall as they are luscious. I can honestly say what you see on these typical commercials is true; Sweden really does have some of the worlds most beautiful women.

Just think of the first time you arrived in Sweden or visited here. That surreal realization that everything you ever heard is infact true. Think of how in shock and awe you were when you stepped into a 7-Eleven, Pressbyrån or local supermarket. You probably weren't sure whether you accidentally walked into a modeling agency or whether this was the casting or a set of a new reality TV show called "insanely hot models doing regular shit". Yes, I remember that feeling all too well.

Now I know you thinking "where is the catch?" Trust me, my old man always told me that when its too good to be true, it usually is. You see the price you pay for this exquisite beauty my dear obnoxious male friends, is castration.

Yes, you heard right. Castration and if you are lucky, maybe she will let you keep one of your testicles(eiers for my fellow Northern Suburbians back in The Great CPT). This is the price you pay if you dwell with the finest female specimen in the universe. Get used to a life of 'fokkol rights' because in all honesty, your opinion doesn't meant shit. But c'mon guys, do we really care about rights, opinions, individual traits, personality, our legacy and losing our dignity and manhood? Walk around in the streets of Stockholm and observe. You will find the answer.

With that said, I'm off to Göteborg for a week of debauchery with the lads....

Colin out......