tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-39566658651013246792024-03-13T01:07:31.820+01:00Colin in SwedenRandom thoughts and adventures of the AfriSwedeAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15624727830250834088noreply@blogger.comBlogger48125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3956665865101324679.post-92167637372282359782017-01-29T00:44:00.000+01:002017-01-29T00:44:01.714+01:00My fall from grace<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Have you ever wondered why you don't see small little watches for infants(even as accessories)? That's because kids literally have zero concept of time. People always claim to give "zero f*cks" but I firmly believe that title goes to kids. They truly don't give a single f*ck about you nor their own damn appointments they need to be at and I love it! It is very admirable. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Just toggling between Mini-me's food schedule, slotting in play dates, attending öppna förskolan(its basically creche for kids that's not eligible for creche yet), clinic appointments, shopping for food and occasionally cleaning the apartment to look somewhat less crackish, there is hardly time for nut busting. Maybe this is why most single dads are more jacked up than a juiced katt in SATS(the gym) over here. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">But as I mentioned before, you have to admire children's concept of time. You may wonder, what does time have to do with the title "my fall from grace" but stick with me and allow me to explain...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Just over 4 months ago, my life was at the point of "Self Actualization". Now for those of you not so familiar with Maslow's hierarchy of needs, I have added a picture instead to illustrate. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I had reached the peak of life and had the esteem, confidence, courage, love and achievement to conquer anything. In my mind, I was busy preparing for life in the forest with my little family and starting to embrace the upcoming life of suburbia. Little did I know that the wheels of destruction and annihilation has already been put in motion on my so-called happy life. I must of been totally oblivious to all the signs that a colossal crash was about to occur. Its probably all that nut busting that made me blind. Nonetheless, fast forward to the present moment and I am all the way at the bottom of the hierarchy on "Physiological Needs" now. It was not a gentle fall so needless to say that many wounds needs to be healed right now. This is where time comes in and why I wish I had a kids perception and ideology of time. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I understand that sometimes you have to get knocked down lower than you have ever been to stand back up taller than you ever were but that is easier said than done. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Who knows, maybe one day when time has healed all the wounds, I will be able to drive past the house in the forest that could've been and just laugh at all of this. Hopefully the new owners wont call the cops because of the non-Caucasian male with big hair driving and lurking past their home with a binoculars and box of tissues. If any of you thunderkatts out there know how to speed up time, holla at your boy! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15624727830250834088noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3956665865101324679.post-15584071250030805912017-01-17T00:23:00.000+01:002017-01-17T00:23:42.394+01:00Train Lengths Apart<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">On a Friday night whilst alone, I got a sheer glimpse of what lies ahead for me in the single life. I was sitting at a window facing table eating fresh homemade carbonara with avo on the side. Sipping some red wine and listening to late night jazz on Spotify, I thought to myself "<i>damn this avo goes great with carbonara</i>". The second thought that crossed my mind was "<i>dude, its Friday night. You alone anyway, you might as well go out</i>". </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Yip, like the latest evil Kermit memes making the rounds, I also have this inner demon that I need to hush from time to time. So, instead of going out, I opened my books instead. I really chose the tough route this semester and with everything already in turmoil around me, I selected Criminal Law and Penology just to enlarge my brown hole even more.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So while going through my course material instead of giving in to my inner demon, I stumbled upon an ironic piece of writing. I cant paraphrase it as its already perfect in its original form so here goes "<i>If a father gives his naughty child a moderate hiding in order to discipline him, or a policeman gets hold of a criminal on the run by knocking him to the ground in a tackle, their respective acts are not unlawful, and they will therefore not be guilty of assault, despite the fact that these acts comply with the definitional elements of the crime assault.</i>" </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Wait what??? Firstly, If anyone even tries that crap in the Nordics you are probably looking at 2-5 years in jail. And that is just the poor policeman. You do not want to know what prison sentence awaits you if you dare touch your kid over here. Sure, rapists gets to go free and maybe get a slap on the wrist or worst case, 12 months in prison BUT don't you dare discipline your kid over here. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Now, stick with me here, the extract is from a South African Criminal Law textbook and is only applicable in Southern Africa. Do not get me twisted, I will never discipline Mini-me the way we were disciplined back home. If anything, she disciplines me! And should anyone even think of disciplining my Mini-me, I will probably write the follow up blog post from a Swedish jail cell. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The point I was trying to make is that myself and SnowFlake come from contrasting worlds and our entire existence is train lengths apart. You literally have someone from the southern tip of Africa now living in one of the most northern countries in the world. Our background, upbringing, infrastructure, values, mentality, beliefs, struggles and principles are contradicting on almost every level. Is it then that strange that we broke up? Also, why don't they serve avocado with carbonara? That shit is delicious! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Barry IN</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15624727830250834088noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3956665865101324679.post-9868853981622601812017-01-06T19:35:00.000+01:002017-01-06T19:35:03.054+01:00Parental Leave<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So the first week of pappaledig has come and gone. Both myself and Mini-me is still alive and healthy so that is a good sign. I can say that pappaledig is not as easy as you may think. You need to be mentally and emotionally in tune with both your star player and your spirit animal! Don't be fooled by all the paternity leave books out there. No 2 kids are alike! As I have now become accustomed to my new aroma of baby poop, pee and drool, I began to wonder, how do those mall mommies manage to look so good? Their hair is done, nails done, clothes is clean, heels on and make up on point. Yet I look like death twice over, it surely is a mystery to me. </span><div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Thus far our routine has been Mini-me waking up at about 07h30ish and me only really waking up at 08h00. At this point Mini-me has already gone from 0 to 100 real quick so water and porridge needs to be served ASAP or else tantrums will be thrown. Once we've finished our food fight in the kitchen leaving the area looking like absolute crap, we make our way to the play room for fun, laughter and just general mischievous shit she cant get away with when her mom is around. Most of which usually entails Mini-me tearing shit up, biting me or trying to stuff her toys into my ears, nose or mouth. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">According to the baby book, I am suppose to let her take a mid morning nap but trying to get Mini-me to sleep is like trying to get the KKK to accept black membership. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">After much tears being shed and tantrums thrown(mainly by me), she eventually dozes off in my arms. Whether she does this out of pity for me or not, its a welcoming snooze nonetheless. At this point I figure '<i>fuck yeah, now I can do something constructive</i>' But sanity prevails and while Mini-me is fast asleep, I rather start prepping her mellanmål(mid day snack) and lunch. After that is done, I think I can sneak in a shower to wash my ailing and rancid crack but to no avail. The devil has arisen and stands up straight in her cot like Dracula awakening from his long nap, thirsty!!! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">There will be no crack washing today, or at least not until reinforcements arrive to relieve me from my Daddy Daycare duties. After my first week of doing this, all I can say is: Salute! Salute to all the moms out there doing their thing and still maintaining their sanity. Salute to all the dirty dads out there. I see you covered in all types of body excrement. And if you a single parent and doing this... pass that woman/man a <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VteDp3IK-60" target="_blank">bells</a>! You deserve it! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Barry IN <span style="font-size: xx-small;">(in his purse moeg as well but oh so worth it).</span></span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15624727830250834088noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3956665865101324679.post-79700970208952031962017-01-02T22:40:00.001+01:002017-01-02T22:40:23.316+01:00Moving start to 2017<h3>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Man I thought 2016 started rough but boy does 2017 come with a unique set of challenges! All sideline projects and mini goals need to be set aside for the main goal which is: <i>Secure a place to call home for myself and Mini-me. </i>Sounds easier said than done but ask any immigrant in Stockholm, it's not that easy. Coming from Africa we do not have the financial infrastructure, support and old money that the locals possess. Matter of fact, majority of us still need to send a percentage back home because that is just how redistribution of the wealth works. But, I digress, let me not bore you with the details of <i>The Black Curse</i> and the unfair playing ground. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">After being told to get up from my knees as that is not the way to secure a home loan(get your mind outta the gutter, I was begging not blowing), I left my bank slightly depressed. Yet still had a little joy in knowing that when I do return with the deposit years from now, they probably wouldn't remember me. Don't get me wrong, I do not want a <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nkandla_(homestead)" target="_blank">Nkandla</a> style estate like my boy Jacob. I just require something small, safe and cozy for myself and Mini-me. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Speaking of <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jacob_Zuma" target="_blank">Jacob</a>, option 2 of joining the dark forces would sound enticing but I don't think Mini-me would like visiting her dad behind bars. So we return to the drawing board for an amicable solution. The separation laws/rights for common law partners in Sweden is tricky yet straightforward. Everything is based around Mini-me requiring a stable home. With that said, SnowFlake and I are trying to go about this break up in the most civil and courteous manner. This in itself is obviously challenging for a brother from the Cape Flats but, so far so good. </span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15624727830250834088noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3956665865101324679.post-71810898270113576652016-12-23T13:16:00.000+01:002016-12-23T13:16:19.221+01:002016 What a Year!<h2>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">My oh my, what a year this has been! It kicked off with my very own mini-me gracing us with her presence. I have been meaning to introduce Her Excellency Mini-me for nearly 10 months now. The sheer delay in posting anything should give you a sense of how jam packed parenthood is. Mini-me is definitely the highlight of my year and life so I will save you the cliques that all new parents post. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Among the other notable highlights was landing my dream gig, the homies finally coming over to the EU, not wearing Crocs, ending my 2nd year in Criminology with distinction, whipping <a href="https://twitter.com/Wayel13" target="_blank">LaFaille</a> in FIFA, meeting my little nephew and fulfilling my childhood dream of going to Old Trafford! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">But hey, it hasn't just been all rosy and lavender scented farts. I also got my ass kicked in a 10km race by a bunch of young thunderkatts who referred to me as 'old man' as they passed me by. <a href="https://twitter.com/ScndalusMndalus" target="_blank">Scandalus Mandalus</a> schooled me on the squash court and Kanye had a mental breakdown on stage. However, the most devastating of all came at the scrotum of 2016 with SnowFlake and myself parting ways. "We decided" that it is in everyone's best interest that we choose this path. </span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Harsh? I have no words and neither is this the forum to discuss that. My only goal right now and into 2017 and beyond is to be the best dad and human being I can be for Her Excellency Mini-me. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">From the bleachers, I hear the rumblings and murmurs of 'coming back wearing the 45' but remember, even the G.O.A.T took 2 years. Time heals all wounds... oh and <a href="http://www.dettol.co.uk/" target="_blank">Dettol</a>! Time and Dettol...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>"In the end, it will all be well" Mother Dearest</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>"Stay Strong my brother" <a href="https://twitter.com/LukeyMags" target="_blank">LukeyMagz</a> </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">Barry IN</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15624727830250834088noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3956665865101324679.post-91135018626271099572015-09-01T13:02:00.000+02:002015-09-01T13:02:08.384+02:00Stay tuned for the next episode<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I've been contemplating for a while now on whether to migrate this to a new site. A great deal has endured and taken place since my last blog post. The parents were over to visit and experienced some great Swedish traditions such as Sommar rain, Swedish summer, Swedish safety and just the all-round beauty and magnificence that Sweden possess. We were a tad bit nervous upon their arrival and blew a massive sigh of relief when we saw them pass the gates at Arlanda terminal 5. Most of the anxiety was due to whether my ou' G would make it through. He is the kinda pops that will go and tell the pilot to slow the plane down because "you are going to fast young man". Tough as nails my Ou' G and never backs down for anyone. So needless to say, we were happy when they allowed him in the country. Tack Sverige! </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguZtCDY49SOorC0WTV7zV3vVF-yfYAeQqiGE7-eO8XmzFSZrmZQexD37vpIjRm9NzVwkEJQPp_D8hxPQAxZ0ZNND9XF_JhPVY7x_PgJK3C5KVoKiM3dzkGyNrpU7F6Isb7XTo_f57HK_D5/s1600/20150715_165343_resized.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguZtCDY49SOorC0WTV7zV3vVF-yfYAeQqiGE7-eO8XmzFSZrmZQexD37vpIjRm9NzVwkEJQPp_D8hxPQAxZ0ZNND9XF_JhPVY7x_PgJK3C5KVoKiM3dzkGyNrpU7F6Isb7XTo_f57HK_D5/s320/20150715_165343_resized.jpg" width="180" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">As we toured Sweden with my parents, I also toured with my books. Yip, I am a student now. Pursuing my dream of studying Criminology with a major in Psychology. You can of course see how this confuses my friends as my life advice always revolves around music, sexy time and the occasional nut busting. I admit, my advice and logic is not conventional but with everything going on around us, clearly the classical methodologies are not working. It is time for a radical approach and maybe just maybe I can string together some great theories linked to sexy time, nut busting and world peace. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Stay tuned for the next episode as we hitting Vienna soon for our annual basketball match up. Those Austrian thunderkatts sure are suckers for punishment and clearly must have amnesia to have forgotten that last ass whippin' we gave them. Alas, we will go to the VIE again and hang out with the homies and ball because apparently ball is life. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Isaacs IN!</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15624727830250834088noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3956665865101324679.post-16442030448238353932015-05-28T20:57:00.000+02:002015-05-28T20:57:05.190+02:00What happens in Vegas follows you forever<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We all know that famous saying, "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" bad news kids, it doesn't! In this day and age of social media slavery, nothing stays in Vegas and everything will come back to bite you in the ass numerous times. Whether its a bad credit record as a result of bottle poppin' and model droppin' or herpes or even just the realization that you a dumb ass for dropping out of Uni, it will come back to haunt you.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Luckily for me I skipped the herpes part but am a 'victim' of the former. I remember in 2012 I wrote a <a href="http://sverigecolin.blogspot.se/2012/09/recession-what-recession.html" target="_blank">post</a> stating that you should "party within your financial lane" but clearly never took my own advice. So 3 years on let me rewrite that post with some amendments:</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBvl454FaWj6zHSJaua32lUTYvaqT8ca-a6BLZWvdepBHEjmK3oqDib_MvKg4pkkiCkYQnGl4HOfiot9MzyChDOJNSeV6q-Sz7LNcW33y4QjgckkXhmvrwVGRKVP_-h7SDRqaSTZicwx6V/s1600/221_d.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBvl454FaWj6zHSJaua32lUTYvaqT8ca-a6BLZWvdepBHEjmK3oqDib_MvKg4pkkiCkYQnGl4HOfiot9MzyChDOJNSeV6q-Sz7LNcW33y4QjgckkXhmvrwVGRKVP_-h7SDRqaSTZicwx6V/s320/221_d.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>1. Save! Save! Save! </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Yes we heard this before and booooo its boring and redundant I know, but trust me young thunderkatts, save! Even if you put away just 15% of your monthly salary every pay day, you will reap the rewards 5,10,15 years down the line. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>2. Leave the credit cards for the rappers and ballers.</b> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Let go of that desire for that Black American Express card unless you come up with a catchier phrase than "Im inlove with the CoCo". Cut up that credit card and party within your financial lane. Soon you wont even know that you missing it. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>3. Stay in school.</b> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If you in University or College and even thinking of "<i>maybe I should take a break</i>" or "<i>I can finish this later</i>", stop right there, slap yourself with a cactus and stay in school! Education is the most powerful tool you will ever need. Apart from that prized possession between your legs, Education is the ONLY other 'organ' that opens doors. </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2ijUOswgbFVhzVok_gNjp194e6RwCsN9ha-UWkwOb7_3mutD9_5fmeT8WzNn1s7jBzftcz4y30NLK25CaJHacAmxgYnW2SkGEQ_MK38ZlSss1_CMjiwJBDxwSpugWB1FLljFsjJUhYYxy/s1600/when-your-daughter-asks-you-why-she-has-to-study-show-her-this-picture.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2ijUOswgbFVhzVok_gNjp194e6RwCsN9ha-UWkwOb7_3mutD9_5fmeT8WzNn1s7jBzftcz4y30NLK25CaJHacAmxgYnW2SkGEQ_MK38ZlSss1_CMjiwJBDxwSpugWB1FLljFsjJUhYYxy/s320/when-your-daughter-asks-you-why-she-has-to-study-show-her-this-picture.jpg" width="193" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">As I currently embark on a new journey and hustle path due to 'unforeseen' and historical circumstances, I cant help but reflect back on my previous errors and hope that other young thunderkatts do not make the same mistakes. Save money, leave the credit and stay in school my brethren. And remember, whats happens in Vegas, stays on Facebook and YouTube forever and your offspring will want to know why daddy is snorting something out of Uncle Jimmy's butthole. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Isaacs still looking.....</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">ps. don't forget to hook a brother up, its harsh out here in the EU. Also for more financial guidance on what NOT to do, feel free to contact me for complimentary tips on how not to make dumb ass decisions. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Isaacs out for real.... </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15624727830250834088noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3956665865101324679.post-51437151498990170482015-05-17T21:32:00.001+02:002015-05-17T21:32:37.820+02:00Maturity needs space <span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">As I wished my beloved aunt on her birthday today, I cast my mind back on my first birthday as the official AfriSwede precisely last week. Just comparing gifts received back in the day to gifts now is a major contrast. I suppose the older you get, the more space you need. Not to long ago in a galaxy known as the 7100, my birthday gifts used to consist of bottles and bottles and bottles of rum! Not much space was required to store these copious amounts of rum as they were hastily consumed just after being unwrapped. No space or storage was required because consumption was immediate and over real quick. Much like those combustion experiments we had in primary school. Good times and great memories, from what I can remember, with the beloved Lad Fraternity. </span><div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkf2FWOTVX0miqsrSXpEeYvOEJRQTNxb5eWE2oMJW6SFZ3Qt0kBghjqwGKgwPkr9QFZPZ6qCiIbwhZGGa7EdPhlQP_TuaqB_tEl-Cy6_W3d_0C_L7l2eDKm9jZf4ceUhk415HJaWlJxDcr/s1600/blogpic.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkf2FWOTVX0miqsrSXpEeYvOEJRQTNxb5eWE2oMJW6SFZ3Qt0kBghjqwGKgwPkr9QFZPZ6qCiIbwhZGGa7EdPhlQP_TuaqB_tEl-Cy6_W3d_0C_L7l2eDKm9jZf4ceUhk415HJaWlJxDcr/s320/blogpic.JPG" width="318" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">At first I must admit, it felt weird and almost awkward not opening a gift wrapped bottle of rum or Jack but once I got into the swing of it, it was electrifying and incredible. All of a sudden I don't have enough space, bookshelves, and frames for all the gifts and memorabilia that was bestowed upon me. Do not get me wrong, as much as I loved the Lads gifts, I am truly thankful for all my new found presents. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I don't think I've ever been this excited to get a Man Cave just so that I can show off and exhibit all these gifts. I can also now begin to comprehend why parents get so happy when their kids leave the nest because then they have more space for more stuff. Because you always need more stuff! </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMofBUsAhFrcoJkRox1rGbo_9NqnooEq_as8gjJHeDrsCEnko5a5YOJIJF12cyXA3BJfG6PeVwaDII7ZPMQsaF6yy47mty5Y8BEq5jl8Ijyi9jcfGUpwVaWIFVMhyn1oYDhL4j9wzhv4rA/s1600/blogpic2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMofBUsAhFrcoJkRox1rGbo_9NqnooEq_as8gjJHeDrsCEnko5a5YOJIJF12cyXA3BJfG6PeVwaDII7ZPMQsaF6yy47mty5Y8BEq5jl8Ijyi9jcfGUpwVaWIFVMhyn1oYDhL4j9wzhv4rA/s320/blogpic2.JPG" width="318" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">With my gift collection slowly requiring its own closet, I can only begin to wonder when will I ever get that man cave. I've heard these man cave myths and fairy tales but thus far only "Terror Lekota" Jakobsen has acquired one of these esteemed holdings. I can tell you this much, the desire for that prestigious man cave is definitely pushing the hustle for a new job to greater lengths. Unless I want to share my man cave under the bridge with all the other homeless brothers, I need to hustle and GRIND for that illustrious premise. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Isaacs still looking....</span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15624727830250834088noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3956665865101324679.post-44649076604318803252015-05-03T14:58:00.000+02:002015-05-03T14:58:49.429+02:00One unified greeting dammit!<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Just last week my road dogg and sidekick <a href="https://twitter.com/ScndalusMndalus" target="_blank">Scandalus Mandalus</a> hinted at the fact that I was picking up weight and that the gym sessions are starting to show. This took me by surprise because you wont exactly catch me lifting shit, let alone pushing weights in the gym. For a moment it crossed my mind that maybe Scandalus has onset visual impairment. I let it slide because one of the symptoms of visual impairment is randomly handing out <a href="http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=PoesKlap&defid=1770452" target="_blank">PK</a>'s for no reason on purpose. Trust me, you do not want to get a PK from Scandalus. </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I pinned his comment down to the visual impairment and promised myself to find a way of telling him to get his eyes checked without risking a PK. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Scandalus' proclamation was hardly cold in my mind when yet another individual commented on my physique again. This time, I decided to investigate(<i>insert Julius Malema voice</i>) and examine myself. To my sheer confusion I noticed that my shoulders, arms and torso has gained mass however, the rest of my body is still small. You can only but imagine my bewilderment at this discovery because I am always the first to tease these huge gym dudes with the skinny legs. Taunting and asking them why they skip leg day? Yet I was looking like a 'mini me' version of them.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlMF1YBI5AL0mpv23hidQq_T5Q5KZkwW5HcvZ4lNF83tbA3I6PLko6PkERYFP4Dg51deVru7aTzZn2K-5JFVDusOZPBFcdzFuXH_GL_fZsqI0P3KKCqphedNOd6NJKnZkUc0LDfkZa34Bz/s1600/08530ebda92faf45f33daa3b2584c51b_650x.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlMF1YBI5AL0mpv23hidQq_T5Q5KZkwW5HcvZ4lNF83tbA3I6PLko6PkERYFP4Dg51deVru7aTzZn2K-5JFVDusOZPBFcdzFuXH_GL_fZsqI0P3KKCqphedNOd6NJKnZkUc0LDfkZa34Bz/s1600/08530ebda92faf45f33daa3b2584c51b_650x.jpg" height="320" width="213" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">After much deliberation, I pinned my upper body growth to my recent trip home and greeting my fellow African brothers. As strange as this sounds, let me explain... </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You have to be in physical shape when you greet my African brethren every day. Not only is the hand shake complex but the arm strength needed when you pulled in for the double back pat is immense. Compare that to the katts over here in the EU that just indulges you with a simple hand shake. Throw in my Scandinavian homies who strictly 'kram' (that's Swedish for hugs) and to confuse me more, add our 'kiss greet' Cape Town flavor and you get one confused AfriSwede over here. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">On numerous occasions I find myself trying to 'kiss greet' Swedish folk because I just came from hanging out with my Cape Town peoples. Needless to say the expression on their face is one of shock and horror. More so is the look of confusion and revulsion when I try and greet my African brethren with a simple hand shake. I get confused okay! and its very hard to keep up. Cant we just get one unified greeting already....</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Maybe something with our legs. That way I get to work out my legs and wont end up looking like the dude in the picture!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strike>Isaacs IN</strike></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">AfriSwede IN!</span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15624727830250834088noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3956665865101324679.post-51059547547200535592015-04-09T20:15:00.001+02:002015-04-09T20:15:20.014+02:00Just Wing It!<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I saw this post once on Broseph <a href="https://instagram.com/idasofmarch/" target="_blank">Idas </a>Instagram account that made me burst out with laughter. Now it wasn't exactly the funniest thing since George Bush got thrown with two slippers but it made me laugh nonetheless. It was just plain black text on white that read "The older you get, the more you realize no one has a fucking clue what they're doing. Everyone is just winging it." After the laughter subdued I couldn't help think about our parents that raised us without the technological advancements of today. Surely if we are currently 'winging it' then they should have Colonel or General status by now whilst us mere mortals only roam about with 2nd Lieutenant status. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">As I am slowly but surely starting to move off the calender in terms of birthdays, I cant help but commend our folks for raising us without Internet, baby books, health warnings, cellphones and Netflix. Massive round of applause to the old folk out there for keeping us off the streets and entertained with library cards, sticks, yo-yo's and a deck of cards. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">As brilliant as the Internet is, it is also the main and biggest reproductive system of nimrods. Thanks to the Internet, every Tom, Dick and Harry is now a 'know it all' and because Wikipedia said so, it has to be right. This causes a mass influx in nimrosia because not only are we all winging it and flying through stormy weathers, we have to weather the storm with some first officer who Wikipedia'd his way through flying school. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Surely there were nimrods in our old folks heyday so how did they handle them? How did they protect themselves from nimrosia? There definitely was no Internet so that was one good thing for them. Do not get me wrong, I love the inter webs especially when there is zero chill on certain aspects. I just cant fathom the nimrosia. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Isaacs still looking...</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15624727830250834088noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3956665865101324679.post-64115097836262309352015-03-23T13:44:00.000+01:002015-03-23T13:44:59.836+01:00Still Hustlin'<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">As the job search continues and intensifies out here in the STO, I begin to comprehend just how tough it is for immigrants to land a respectable job outside their native country. Constantly trying new approaches and getting rejected on the go makes me think of all the young thunderkatts out there on the dating scene. Lets face it, its kind of the same thing. You put yourself out there, only showing your best appearance, have one or two meets and then BOOM.... dead silence. You don't hear anything back and also don't want to contact them too much in fear of coming across as stalkish, creepy or a bit rapey. Nobody likes that rapey vibe! So instead you just wait and start doubting yourself and that "maybe its me" sadness kicks in. Yes, its tough out there on the job front and if you not ass kissing, you fresh outta luck young man. You need to have a fresh stench of ass on your breathe if you wish to be employed. </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoH0OCqtHoN_EiUTvbnTSEvAHf1tFcHGXcNNw_DZq9Xo_yfgmXjIZQiOsH5sPsRSdMfvC04vG3H_CfdokH0996wzii1DWuIm1_jMS8NLAju9kdcf3CRpwLgRk4wGJFpb8grpdPRxVVDHak/s1600/Ibba.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoH0OCqtHoN_EiUTvbnTSEvAHf1tFcHGXcNNw_DZq9Xo_yfgmXjIZQiOsH5sPsRSdMfvC04vG3H_CfdokH0996wzii1DWuIm1_jMS8NLAju9kdcf3CRpwLgRk4wGJFpb8grpdPRxVVDHak/s1600/Ibba.jpg" height="222" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Despite all the rejections and me not having ass breathe, that "maybe its me" sadness has not kicked in yet. I credit this to that African hustle mentality and Thabo's "I am an African" <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6lmKFTadTk8" target="_blank">speech</a>. Also a recent trip to my beloved Mzansi in celebration of SnowFlake's birthday with friends was not only refreshing but also rejuvenating. I've said this before and I will say it again: If you ever feel crap or kränkt about your life here in Europe, take a short left and go visit Africa. You will be amazed at how happy people are despite their circumstances and on going battles they face. </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Everyday it's back to the drawing board for me but its that African hustle and the spirit of my peoples back home that keeps me going. </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1gtuUybOcetGuz92RdURB8zgSKwTJTfl8WvkK6GsEJCFa6fjZwP6WsG_MGAwvt8LBxZxBidD3FDeT5dnn5fudnv52dGvi0dMQKhegoiIL1mIiTp90xhY1sK6k5fJ-XCZPNYbQKU5W71-N/s1600/IMG_4726.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1gtuUybOcetGuz92RdURB8zgSKwTJTfl8WvkK6GsEJCFa6fjZwP6WsG_MGAwvt8LBxZxBidD3FDeT5dnn5fudnv52dGvi0dMQKhegoiIL1mIiTp90xhY1sK6k5fJ-XCZPNYbQKU5W71-N/s1600/IMG_4726.JPG" height="213" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If I can show these peeps some African magic and happiness, then surely I can impose that magic here too. I mean just look how happy they are after waking up at 3am to hike Lions Head. Just need to break down the barriers and kick in the door. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Do not give up, Never give in and refuse to accept 'No' as an answer(This applies to the job hunt guys, not the dating scene). No means No in any other context gents, lets not emanate that rapey vibe. Nobody likes that.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Isaacs looking... </span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15624727830250834088noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3956665865101324679.post-75695942310236306012014-12-23T10:01:00.000+01:002014-12-23T10:01:35.640+01:00Digital Footprint<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">As the new year approaches and folk start reflecting back on their 2014 and start with the "new year. new me" crap, I actually only have one resolution... </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"Be More Aware of my Digital Footprint" </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I cannot emphasize this enough kids, take care of your digital footprint! Have you ever Google'd yourself and see what comes up? Web links, images, videos, disturbing news, etc. With myself and numerous mates being on the job market due to retrenchment, we obviously started Googling and searching each other to see which incriminating data and images comes up. My God were we shocked! Let me tell you right now that I am so overjoyed at the fact that technology was not around for my teenage and adolescent years. Within just a few years of becoming a techno slave, I have a digital footprint so nasty and clear that even Ray Charles can see what I've been up to. My mates weren't any better as one of them has "Hitler'd a b*tch" and the other was literally trash talking the same company where he is now applying for a job.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHxsU2zO7ljsQb30e72E7GZE5XeuXTaZwY8CHtMjvXy6hAB3Nf7VJ6zs7m5DhKTIrvniqnh3WZBbEPapIaU2LgJyUBS-ruvNe-MJnx0n8LrVcCdPMAVvl5X0NjvVQx6myFbfGjfIZTOLg/s1600/funny-Robert-Downey-Jr-new-year.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHxsU2zO7ljsQb30e72E7GZE5XeuXTaZwY8CHtMjvXy6hAB3Nf7VJ6zs7m5DhKTIrvniqnh3WZBbEPapIaU2LgJyUBS-ruvNe-MJnx0n8LrVcCdPMAVvl5X0NjvVQx6myFbfGjfIZTOLg/s1600/funny-Robert-Downey-Jr-new-year.jpg" height="320" width="318" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Take care of your digital footprint people and be careful with what you put on the net and what you say. Once its out there, its out there and you stand a better chance of curing Ebola than erasing digital you. To the new age parents out there, please don't publicize your kids life on the internet. That young thunderkatt or thunderkitten will probably be forever bullied with all the incriminating naked pics of him or her online. Give the lil kid a chance in the digital world at least. Yes, I know you want everyone to see how cute your prince/princess is but that same everyone includes pedophiles that is now probably beating themselves off to pictures of your little one in the bath. Rather change the privacy settings so that only your family or close friends can see those pictures. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I for one would NOT hire myself or any of my mates after entering a search in Google or any other search engine. With that being said, I'm off trying to clear my digital footprint and re-brand myself. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My gift to you this Xmas.... Go Google yourself.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Isaacs IN....</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00061675740125390380noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3956665865101324679.post-52197302406600011372014-12-11T16:08:00.002+01:002014-12-11T16:08:37.366+01:00Some things are better left unsaid....<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My slogan for all health issues has always been "some things are better left unsaid". That was until about a week ago (NO! Stop! It's not time to do the Shmurda dance to Bobby Shmurda's <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJwKKKd2ZYE&list=PLUBCdYcObQGRhnmwT3eN9IhY1HEBRmjwj" target="_blank">Hot N*gga</a>). I know, its difficult to NOT break out into Hot N*gga after saying "about a week ago" even if it is by coincidence. As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted by myself due to Bobby Shmurda, some things are better left unsaid. That is the great health advise given by Dr. Ross <a href="https://twitter.com/roscoeleemorris" target="_blank">Morris</a> himself. With everything going around, World Aids day being celebrated and getting older, I could no longer take Dr. Morris advise and tested myself for everything. All the tests itself is not the scary part, its those 10 days that you sit and wait for results. That wait is the excruciating part. </span><div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKCn4vii_6-znTv9F6Bu0MTr0Kj0iGZmBOq7BiSvO6cgcEsVORztpgh0qM2JjLRGnr7CDUJDvBJjOLb64IasuvsDEX8n8g3B-8nLY50c92H3zHGLFKxJal3CK6BoTvYSrA9pIO6a5qpC4H/s1600/man+up.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKCn4vii_6-znTv9F6Bu0MTr0Kj0iGZmBOq7BiSvO6cgcEsVORztpgh0qM2JjLRGnr7CDUJDvBJjOLb64IasuvsDEX8n8g3B-8nLY50c92H3zHGLFKxJal3CK6BoTvYSrA9pIO6a5qpC4H/s1600/man+up.JPG" height="225" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I literally sat and thought of all the possible ways you can contract some shit. All the possibilities of that lingering pain in your knee. Random chest pain, why my toe nail is falling off, why my ankle hurts? That throbbing pain and little 'ball' at the back of my head. Random blood here and there. Can you get Ebola when your dick touches the inside of the toilet bowl when you sit and piss? Or maybe prostate cancer from slapping my balls on my passed out friends face during Hermanus weekend away trips? So many scenarios played out in my head that it was actually difficult to sleep during those tedious 10 days.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When the results finally came in, I was as happy as a white man in Europe(yeah I said it). After years of abusing and battering my body with unhealthy ingredients and booze, not a single damn thing is wrong with me(no checks were performed on my brain or mental capacity) and I have a clean bill of health. That being said, Life is short and nobody gets out alive so enjoy and make the most of every second you got. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjovLPt5J-otywGm6BSZ4Kv42BBJTCfX_dClfLgdImWTqUrc_v_Xb_pTC0cJFIql54FmKfdNJZT10n-vSkaV3qqlVqVYnCEocuY4Eyw5sHs4nBkDnH1yCFSgO04yKXt3CKJ0nMVLhJjNpeO/s1600/MadeaOnEbola.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjovLPt5J-otywGm6BSZ4Kv42BBJTCfX_dClfLgdImWTqUrc_v_Xb_pTC0cJFIql54FmKfdNJZT10n-vSkaV3qqlVqVYnCEocuY4Eyw5sHs4nBkDnH1yCFSgO04yKXt3CKJ0nMVLhJjNpeO/s1600/MadeaOnEbola.jpg" height="318" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I'm definitely living more cautious and taking care of myself now but living healthy don't guarantee shit! Living healthy doesn't stop that 'ol fucker Cancer from knocking on your door or getting knocked over by a bus or attacked and beaten to death by <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sweden_Democrats" target="_blank">SD</a> supporters or Neo-Nazi fuckers. You can live healthy all you damn want and still slip and fall in the shower while rubbing one out. That will not only be very sad but also funny for the paramedics and coroners performing the autopsy on your healthy living dumb ass.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Isaacs IN </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">ps. Don't forget to hook a brother up!</span> </span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15624727830250834088noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3956665865101324679.post-47602170675168160402014-12-05T13:49:00.000+01:002014-12-05T13:49:56.638+01:00End of an Era<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">After 8 years of services rendered and loyalty, we have been thanked with a GFY and work out your notice period. Being made redundant is actually not all that bad. Myself and all the 50+ "redundees" can now focus on our CV's and look forward to a fresh start. The initial shock, hatred, anger and depression only lasted a few hours and was quickly calmed and soothed by the thought of the leftovers. This brought much needed joy and laughter.</span><div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It's a real pity we have to work the 4 month notice period even after being told we no longer needed. Could have focused on Game 2 of our STO vs VIE basketball series. During Wiener Wiesn Fest 2014, <a href="https://twitter.com/Wayel13" target="_blank">LaFaille</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/LukeyMags" target="_blank">Maggz</a> and myself jetted off to Vienna to join the festivities and also hand out a whoppin' to the VIE katts on their own court. </span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIaMLj5P5K-wOkdl2tfDORtaMxJGBGfhAXHCa5cUNeRHNVPalaRC133IT0E1uHUObWivpYwNqIL5nuW8UftE5DZP1_oirkBdNwFvt9FgTVwxd5BBs913vHFK5WK9pr4GpLzxwHgLRJLa8S/s1600/20141004_164611.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIaMLj5P5K-wOkdl2tfDORtaMxJGBGfhAXHCa5cUNeRHNVPalaRC133IT0E1uHUObWivpYwNqIL5nuW8UftE5DZP1_oirkBdNwFvt9FgTVwxd5BBs913vHFK5WK9pr4GpLzxwHgLRJLa8S/s1600/20141004_164611.jpg" height="180" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Wiener Wiesn 2014</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">After a brief team huddle and game plan strategy, we took on the VIE katts and within minutes were up 12-4 and 25-10 at the break. The VIE katts looked deflated and without their star man Roos Dookin, they looked directionless like Ray Charles behind the wheel of a F1 car. Apparently <a href="https://twitter.com/roosdookin" target="_blank">Roos Dookin</a> was in Berlin that weekend but later sources revealed that he was actually hiding away in his apartment out of fear for that ass whoopin' in his own back yard. What followed in the 3rd quarter I cant recall due to <a href="https://twitter.com/CoachAwsm" target="_blank">CoachAwesome</a>'s overwhelming musky body odor. I was tasked with guarding him and choosing to play without a top on definitely worked to his advantage during the 3rd quarter. With me being dosed and light headed due to CoachAwesome's pungent odor, he was free to score a few easy buckets. This in turn gave SimonSez rejuvenated spirit and with one sip of his water bottle (which I'm now convinced was filled with <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muti" target="_blank">muti</a>), he played like a man possessed. He must of dug deep into his Ancestral history because he started handing out ass whoopins like it was the 1800's. With SimonSez on full Westbrook mode, the game was tied at 50 and despite LaFaille's best efforts, we lost out 52-54 at the buzzer. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">After freshening up and picking up our bruised ego from the court, we headed off to Wiener Wiesn (Vienna's Oktoberfest) to partake in the festivities. As I was still light headed from the basketball game, not much can be remembered from the Wiesn.</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhw5FUfyGA-Q8KgatoYcLu-Bw2_1gKHko0Ecme10Zw_1z-kLRUdvz7PJ2bqql_Na-Cac5YuM6B62Imdt9LcyVvwPd3ymmrnvobnsQIL3mOgi5EyBxAZ8A9dPCABxTRnu8eyJX59LmCdLScn/s1600/IMG-20141005-WA0021.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhw5FUfyGA-Q8KgatoYcLu-Bw2_1gKHko0Ecme10Zw_1z-kLRUdvz7PJ2bqql_Na-Cac5YuM6B62Imdt9LcyVvwPd3ymmrnvobnsQIL3mOgi5EyBxAZ8A9dPCABxTRnu8eyJX59LmCdLScn/s1600/IMG-20141005-WA0021.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">they serve non-alcoholic as well</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Fun was had by all and it is definitely something to do and a must experience when you are in Vienna that time of year. Game 2 is apparently taking place in the STO and the date is yet to be confirmed. Should our employment situation change then maybe we can fly back to VIE instead. For now, we just basking in the ambiance of our new found freedom and working on our resume. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Hook a brother up! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Isaacs IN!</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15624727830250834088noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3956665865101324679.post-4549640669439542122014-08-07T16:59:00.000+02:002014-08-07T16:59:52.774+02:00Thank You Brazil <span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Just over a month ago we were all still so captivated by Brazil and the mouth watering clash between the hosts and Germany that was set to take place. Now 30 days later nobody gives a flying rats ass about Brazil or the struggle people were protesting about. Hell, we all being fed the Russia-US-Ukraine BS and a dash of Palestine with some Syria sprinkled here and there. Just like Willy Wonker, the damn media knows just how to 'boef' us and keep us distracted. Sugar coating all kinds of shit but I digress, Thank You Brazil, Obrigado! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">You accepted myself and Mzansi friends that has never traveled and embraced us with your culture, enthusiasm, passion and Portuguese. Even though you threw a few surprises and curve balls our way, you were marvelous nonetheless. Obrigado. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">After 20 hours of travel and 3k for a transit visa that was never even checked once, SnowFlake and I arrived in Sao Paulo. We still needed to catch another flight to Florianopolis with 6 hours to kill. After devouring some delicious yet strange Brazilian delicacy(it's actually called <i>coxinha</i> and its amazing), SnowFlake did what she does best. That left me with my all time favorite hobby and pastime: People Watching. </span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmg9SZSt7nyxgqk5edA5T-kCGoIvpKOFctQpnvydHovCg_XDgFYg1f4oCmn1aRLjguM5_mmvsmUKq6CT_Bjk3N9fYe0qTzM5ECtQhMHNlkAJ8ZYpT34GIpaXC7MIxzw3erkia5wg3HHyKQ/s1600/IMG_6249.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmg9SZSt7nyxgqk5edA5T-kCGoIvpKOFctQpnvydHovCg_XDgFYg1f4oCmn1aRLjguM5_mmvsmUKq6CT_Bjk3N9fYe0qTzM5ECtQhMHNlkAJ8ZYpT34GIpaXC7MIxzw3erkia5wg3HHyKQ/s1600/IMG_6249.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">BR 2014 Crew on the Copacabana</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Taking the people watching game global was always a dream but like I mentioned before, there is a fine line between people watching and being a damn stalker. From my astute observation just sitting in Sao Paulo Guarulhos Airport, a mere glimpse of Brazil but accurate with the stigma and stereotype nonetheless. There was an abundance of booty and breasts among the women and the men are rapey looking as fuck! Blondes are scarce hence them drooling and staring at SnowFlake as if she were a unicorn. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When we arrived in Florianopolis, I just wanted a warm shower and nice long session of dropping the kids at the pool. To my dismay and horror, I found out that in South America, you cannot dispose your shitty paper in the toilet. You have to discard it in some brown paper/plastic bag next to you. Failing to do this will lead to you clogging up the entire regions pipes. Needless to say the whole damn village will be well pissed at you. </span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9E-dFL90L6u_BIdeHr4QTP7xeDefH5F-FvMzUQM6TiJiBX26NSXoYCv0i1KWNkIw6vvq8nj2hh1dz6HXBLjAT2JAi-hANWYKq-fZ5p5ROP1eAJRffI6pn7Nu1P5M9oqckkcLirMEp7QyN/s1600/IMG_6140.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9E-dFL90L6u_BIdeHr4QTP7xeDefH5F-FvMzUQM6TiJiBX26NSXoYCv0i1KWNkIw6vvq8nj2hh1dz6HXBLjAT2JAi-hANWYKq-fZ5p5ROP1eAJRffI6pn7Nu1P5M9oqckkcLirMEp7QyN/s1600/IMG_6140.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My Brazilian Doppelganger</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">After a marvelous week spent in Florianopolis and meeting some great peeps, we arrived in soaking wet, overcast Rio. Despite the initial weather, the scenery and energy was breathtaking and amazing. The women are as stunning and voluptuous as the reputation they have. The men are all tanned and half naked so SnowFlake was having a feast with eye candy(I only found this out when we got home, what an idiot). The cuisine is divine and hospitality impeccable. I can go on and on and on about how amazing Brazil is but at the end of the day, you need to experience it for yourself. Don't believe all the bad press you read in your BBC's and your CNN's. Get out there, experience it and when you return, maybe you will also suffer from #ADIDAB as <a href="https://www.facebook.com/lindsay.kearns.7" target="_blank">Poena</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/LayRoo" target="_blank">LayRoo</a> call it.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCY_kXNFMge-Vg2S8uHE9-5bLGjLZssUIB3zkLO4CdYWywsalRUkAuhrBzr_uk5wN4s3OkgVc5NrxEvrNbbLM-BCAh6GtplwHD0BgiPhL7GezZTVk5XfEc5eLaUfxnUaeBpG3sDQAi4BIJ/s1600/IMG_6586.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCY_kXNFMge-Vg2S8uHE9-5bLGjLZssUIB3zkLO4CdYWywsalRUkAuhrBzr_uk5wN4s3OkgVc5NrxEvrNbbLM-BCAh6GtplwHD0BgiPhL7GezZTVk5XfEc5eLaUfxnUaeBpG3sDQAi4BIJ/s1600/IMG_6586.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Maracana Stadium before kick off</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">With Rio 2016 set to take off and be one bad ass Olympic event, you can rest assure that myself and the BR 2014 Crew will be back there, come hell or high water. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Once again, thank you Brazil.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Isaacs IN.... </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">*ADIDAB means All Day I Dream About Brazil. Poena coined that phrase on his return to Mzansi.</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15624727830250834088noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3956665865101324679.post-71468802604513271862014-05-07T21:20:00.000+02:002014-05-07T21:20:07.667+02:00Know Your Party<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">As many of my fellow Mzansi countrymen/women journeyed to the polls today to cast their vote, I cant help but think just how many don't actually know what they voting for. I was astonished and a bit flabbergasted after taking a "<a href="http://www.news24.com/elections/knowyourparty/" target="_blank">Know Your Party</a>" survey on the News24 web site to find out that my views was a damn not aligned with that of my supporting party. Do not get me wrong, it wasn't exactly life changing or altering my perception of life as the Sunday walk of shame and Swedish summer does. But it did get me thinking about my peoples back home. How many of us actually read our supporting parties manifesto? Do you know the oppositions manifesto? I mean lets be honest, it doesn't make a difference anyway, the ANC will continue to rule for the next 15-20 years. <i>The ANC should not win this election, but they will.</i></span><div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-yVN44VNjfVp6BiaRKrfLT763EEIbI5ZuJ0qtNFRpkEmPtcFnNJTK41cYdd_FNMIPk74_rKqlRBpcyH6h7JIDPi3GcfFMOqQE2gIO87U1Y-yliUTdjVmw92yntZifBix2XH1e7RgS98Dm/s1600/Nelson.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-yVN44VNjfVp6BiaRKrfLT763EEIbI5ZuJ0qtNFRpkEmPtcFnNJTK41cYdd_FNMIPk74_rKqlRBpcyH6h7JIDPi3GcfFMOqQE2gIO87U1Y-yliUTdjVmw92yntZifBix2XH1e7RgS98Dm/s1600/Nelson.jpg" height="317" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I hope the <a href="http://www.news24.com/elections/knowyourparty/" target="_blank">survey</a> stays on the News24 website well after the elections so that we can actually go back and reflect. Anyway, I am done with my rant now. I also promise never to bring up religion nor politics as this is not that kinda blog.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Stay tuned for more exciting news. Brazil is only 27 days away, I've got the alcohol(and essentially Colin) under control and I'm planning on taking the stage soon...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Isaacs...</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15624727830250834088noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3956665865101324679.post-74766369846471866752014-04-11T16:27:00.000+02:002014-04-11T16:27:47.885+02:00Nothing Was The Same<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Recently I went back to the motherland to attend the wedding of my homie <a href="https://twitter.com/Streetkat7100" target="_blank">StreetKat</a>. This trip, albeit expensive and costly, could not have come at a better time. When you wake up every morning and tell yourself "I swear to God if this marfarker fuck with me today, it's on!", then you know things are bad and you need a break. What better place to relax and unwind than the Motherland! It was time for yet another trip to the Mother City, my beloved CPT. </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Unfortunately the lovely SnowFlake couldn't</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> make it due to work commitments but she made the trip viable in every possible way. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Needless to say I was excited like a blind man in a titty bar once I boarded the flight because I knew I would get out of the EU for a while and regain my sanity in Mzansi with my family and friends. Just thinking of the laughter, dancing, story telling, late nights, eating, drinking, singing, sharing and fun that was awaiting me had me glowing like a rave stick at a MDMA festival. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Straight off the flight I was embraced by my family and whisked away to homemade Sunday lunch like only Moms can do. After freshening up and sharing some stories, laughter and jokes with the fam, I tried to get in contact with the Lads.... Nothing! I didn't pay it no mind because they probably were still hungover from StreetKat's STAG weekend. Eventually I got hold of RPC and we checked up on <a href="https://twitter.com/Streetkat7100" target="_blank">StreetKat</a> and spent the night catching up on what went down since I've been gone. It was a slight concern as I only saw <a href="https://twitter.com/Rudo_Man" target="_blank">RPC</a>, StreetKat and Paulie for the entire week and was starting to wonder where the hell the rest of the guys were. Did someone contract a disease? Is Ebola back? What the fuck was going on? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Sure enough <a href="https://twitter.com/TheRussMeister" target="_blank">Meister</a> hooked up during the week and made several appearances. He is always pretty much a sure thing and always rocks up like Mayweather on fight night. With the wedding day a few hours away it dawned upon me, nothing was the same anymore. Everybody has kids now. Girlfriends and gym schedules dictate what and where things need to be done. Somehow all my friends had their balls surgically removed simultaneously and placed on a glass display for all others too see. Below the glass display reads a sign that says "Take heed, your days are numbered". This realization shot immediate dejection through my soul and struck deep like a young man getting his anal cherry popped in Pollsmoor prison. </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixxg0eNOT0j9jEOKHRxWCMFq39jztzGDXXF4ZAWHQxnZtoQnCU6X6KCxSP_cotIQf_EODNZ_-ZyL6Tqq8rSHNHY3Ujn-svStFm6yL9IMJqObQzFT7HQmdxz4gKT3fvbuxWp50hFYZVgGTK/s1600/photo.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixxg0eNOT0j9jEOKHRxWCMFq39jztzGDXXF4ZAWHQxnZtoQnCU6X6KCxSP_cotIQf_EODNZ_-ZyL6Tqq8rSHNHY3Ujn-svStFm6yL9IMJqObQzFT7HQmdxz4gKT3fvbuxWp50hFYZVgGTK/s1600/photo.JPG" height="320" width="239" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Finally it was the big day! With StreetKat being the first to take this leap into the unknown, everyone was nervous. I was shaking like a crack junkie in his third rehab week and it wasn't even my day. So I can only but imagine how daunting this must have been for StreetKat and his beautiful bride. Thanks to Black Baby Jesus, everything went smoothly and the day was amazing, emotional, beautiful and perfect. With all the formalities and speeches done, I finally saw my mates for the first time since arriving and we hit the dance floor and bar area harder than <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pete_Rose" target="_blank">Pete Rose</a> in his prime! We laughed, danced, told stories, ate, drank and sang until late in the night. It was like nothing changed and with a blink of an eye we just picked up where we left off. Yes, things has changed but one thing is for sure, when we get together, there will be laughter, dancing, story telling, late nights, eating, drinking, singing, sharing and kak praat. Have you ever danced so much that you had calluses so bad causing you to wear flip-flops for a week? I'm just saying...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Isaacs IN</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15624727830250834088noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3956665865101324679.post-35016501697701870032014-03-21T18:34:00.000+01:002014-03-21T18:34:08.370+01:00Ultimate Man Tips I just couldn't resist posting<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Man its been a minute, and when I say a minute I mean a loooooong while. 8 months, phew, a lot has transpired since then I must admit. So much to share but first I have to share these man tips my boy Elmer sent me. </span><div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">44 Ultimate Tips For Men </span></h3>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">1. Go for women you perceive to be "out of your league." You'll surprise yourself. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">2. Never have sex with anyone that doesn't want it as much as you. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">3. Never hit anyone unless they are an immediate threat. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">4. Every hat should serve a purpose. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">5. Never take her to the movies on the first date. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">6. Learn to wet shave. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">7. Nothing looks more bad ass than a well-tailored suit. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">8. Shave with the grain on the first go-around.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">9. Always look a person in the eye when talking to them. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">10. Buy a plunger before you need a plunger. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">11. Exercise makes you happy. Run, lift and play sport. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">12. Brush your teeth before you put on your tie. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">13. A small amount of your salary/wages should go to your savings account every month. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">14. Call your parents every week. Texting shouldn't become a custom. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">15. Never wear a clip-on tie. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">16. Give a firm handshake. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">17. Compliment her shoes. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">18. Never leave a pint unfinished. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">19. If you aren't confident, fake it. It will come. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">20. Be conscious of your body language. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">21. The only reason to ever point a gun at someone is if you intend to shoot them. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">22. Always stand to shake someone's hand. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">23. Never lend anything you cant afford to lose. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">24. Ask more than you answer. Everybody likes to talk about themselves. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">25. Keep a change of clothes at the office. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">26. Buy high quality tools, so you only have to buy them once. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">27. Manliness is not being able to take care of yourself, but taking care of others as well.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">28. Go for the decision that will make for a good story. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">29. When you walk, look straight ahead, not at your feet. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">30. Nice guys don't finish last. Boring guys do. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">31. Find your passion and figure out how to get paid for it. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">32. Don't let the little head do the thinking for the big head. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">33. No matter their job or status in life, everyone deserves your respect. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">34. The most important thing you can learn is personal responsibility. Bad things happen, its your duty to overcome them. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">35. The first one to get angry loses. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">36. Do what needs to be done without complaining. Complaining wont help speed things up. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">37. Never stop learning. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">38. Always go out in public dressed like you about to meet the love of your life. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">39. Luck favors the prepared. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">40. Don't change yourself to make someone happy, unless that someone is you. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">41. If you're the smartest person in the room, you're in the wrong room. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">42. Women find confidence sexy as hell. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">43. Do whatever you want to do in life, but be the best at it. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">44. No one is on their deathbed wishing they spent more time at work. Enjoy your life! </span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15624727830250834088noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3956665865101324679.post-52033203554505713762013-07-19T14:56:00.000+02:002013-07-19T14:56:45.369+02:00The sober side of life<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">For those that still don't know, Yes, I decided to quit drinking and go to rehab. This was obviously a decision I did not take lightly and gave it a lot of thought. Im pleased to say though that "so far, so good" and all is going well. So how is rehab you ask? Well, I can say that we watch too much American movies because rehab is NOTHING like the crap we see on our tv screens. Or at least Swedish rehab isn't. I was expecting the famous '12 step program' to be unleashed but Swedes don't do God and Jesus and all that religious stuff so they just skip most of that and have their own program. It's actually very professional and intimate in the sense that you have an entire team dedicated to one individual. This somewhat shocked me as I was expecting the whole group session where one retired pastor leads the group and we all have to stand up and introduce ourselves. I guess things work different in Sweden because over here its actually the alcoholic that has a team of doctors, psychologists and Rehabvägledare and they the ones standing up and introducing themselves. </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEir3AHg-xCezyitLCdFQbUKkfvuaIo8z-BQOXtYS68kpleWoFvdAWqsouipGPRW7S2k0wf83R5F-ad00Z_a8EtuTSPgfzEgAUMK-zR-FdjKzf8FAi16o4b_C6wLyparlrdPUlzH_87ncU9-/s1600/no-drinking-sign1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEir3AHg-xCezyitLCdFQbUKkfvuaIo8z-BQOXtYS68kpleWoFvdAWqsouipGPRW7S2k0wf83R5F-ad00Z_a8EtuTSPgfzEgAUMK-zR-FdjKzf8FAi16o4b_C6wLyparlrdPUlzH_87ncU9-/s1600/no-drinking-sign1.jpg" height="320" width="239" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I cant exactly pin point what it was that led me to this place but it just feels right. I cant continue living in the cusp of death thinking that it wont be me. Personally I feel like I've bottle popped, model dropped and turnt up enough to call it quits now already. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">One thing I am going to comment on is that sober life is just as expensive as bottle poppin' and drinking. The drinking Gods must be punishing me for letting them down because all of a sudden I now need a root canal, a dental implant and a dental bridge. And if that is not enough additional expenses, I now have the appetite of a sumo wrestler and cravings of a pregnant lady. All of a sudden drinking sounds like a good idea but the thought of looking like a toothless hobo in my 30's is less appealing. So I'll stick to being sober for now thank you. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Another aspect I picked up on is that its</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> the ones closest to you that doubt and don't believe change is possible. They actually rooting for your failure. I guess thats why they called close friends. Luckily I am at peace with myself and I rather use their negativity as a steam to power my sobriety. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Isaacs IN....</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15624727830250834088noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3956665865101324679.post-84693382195196000632013-06-15T17:29:00.000+02:002013-06-15T17:29:24.882+02:00Being 30<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Almost every year without fail, I would celebrate my 25th birthday. Not only was this a debaucherous occasion but also the hassle of getting yet another fake ID was borderline psychotic. Last year however, I celebrated #BirthdayCelebrationMonth and did something different. I spent an entire month being wasted, waking up in strange places, foreign countries and kitchen floors. Many folk wondered why I would spend my 25th birthday like this but I did it that way for it was my final years of my 20's. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">What does it mean to be 30? Is it being in a serious relationship where compromise, respect and support is just as important as sexy time and beauty? Is it normal at this age to cough a few times while a random medical stranger is cupping your nutsack? Is this a normal age to then have another stranger with a medical title insert a long snake like protrusion in your back door in search of God knows what! Was it a fact finding mission? Are you then still an anal virgin or does that now make you gay? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I surely do not know what it means to be 30 and I dont have the foggiest clue what to expect. All I wanted to do was celebrate my 30th in style and do something different. That pray was answered in the form of my beloved SnowFlake who took it upon herself to make sure that it was magical and memorable. She invited a few of my mates to come and celebrate my 30th on her island out in the Swedish Archipelago. For the purpose of secrecy, we shall refer to said location as 'SnowFlakes Island' from here forth. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We arrived at SnowFlakes Island after sunset on the Wednesday and just cruising through the archipelago during summer surely does something to you. You immediately get a surreal feeling of bliss and tranquility. That also quickly changed to fear because I realized that should SnowFlake decide to go all Hostel on me, this would be the perfect setting. Nobody would ever find my body out here in the middle of nowhere. That wasn't the case unless Im SpongeBob square pants writing this post from under the sea! Amongst many different aspects of the weekend, one of the highlights was waking up to a hoisted South African flag on the island the morning of my birthday. Many of the other stories also cannot be divulged due to privacy rules however, I can honestly say that it was indeed magical, memorable and different. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I have no idea what to expect in this era of 30's. Apparently hangovers now last 2 days and every weekend is a baby shower or wedding. What I do know and what I am sure about is that change is imminent. Whether it be change in the form child birth or change in the form of marriage. Change is imminent my friend. For me, that change is in the form of rehab.... </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><strike>Colin out...</strike> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Isaacs IN!</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15624727830250834088noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3956665865101324679.post-30236613947555318792013-05-08T12:15:00.000+02:002013-05-08T12:15:04.566+02:00Valborg. If you don't know, now you know!<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Imagine the Jozi or Great CPT business district. Now imagine that specific CBD without buildings, in fact replace it with architecture from the early 1800's surrounded by greenery, parks, water features and beauty. Fill that with sweet black baby Jesus' most beautiful and amazing creatures all in one place. Happy, singing, laughing, sharing, caring and not a concern nor negative complaint that one would usually associate with Swedish winter folk. The streets are filled and lined with vicarious, happy, radiant and relieved people. You get a sense of relieve yet solace and reparation as you walk around in the city. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">People have literally awoken from hibernation and if there is any capital of this statement, then Uppsala it is! This city exudes what we envision bears do every winter. Why do we go to the zoo to await the awakening of a bear? Rather go to Uppsala during Valborg to witness the awakening of mankind and the human race. Its a beautiful thing I tell you. SnowFlake and all other folk tried to warn me weeks before that it is something that you cannot prepare for yet I did not heed the call and shrugged off the warnings. Needless to say I was in a critical condition the days following the debauchery that is Valborg.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It started off very quietly with a "champagne breakfast" at some blokes house and I remember thinking to myself "Self, how hardcore are these people if they have champagne. Ppppffft this should be a piece of cake". That was my last sober memory I can tell you that much. Upon arrival at this blokes spot, we entered his vacant apartment where the only furniture was a DJ booth, Jägermeister shot tubes, tons of booze and champagne. I have a vivid recollection of breakfast being present yet I cannot confirm this thought. Luckily I have a video to refresh my memory that was taken at 08h15. Note the time stamp as this might explain why I was inebriated at 11h00 that day. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I cant remember much after this breakfast party but I do recall walking through a park filled with Sweden's finest and bumping into "Timmy" and "TheAngus". We parked off and helped our self to some of their bbq and booze only to lose them whilst strolling through the streets. I really cant recall much of the days events other than it was amazing and don't wear expensive clothing as you will be soaked by champagne showers. Trust me, should you ever find yourself in Sweden at the end of April, head to Uppsala to experience Valborg. You will never be the same again. </span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15624727830250834088noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3956665865101324679.post-84081866275279862552013-04-18T23:38:00.001+02:002013-04-18T23:38:15.500+02:00Its time to return....<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Its been way too long...</span><div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Wow, its really been a minute since I've been on the scene. Lots has happened since my last post and when I say lots I mean re-invention of the wheel guys and girls. Myself and 'ScienceGirl' took a much needed winter break and escaped to The Mother City. Trust me, nothing elevates a relationship like a trip to The Great CPT and showing off one of Africa's jewels. She immediately fell in love with my hometown and I no longer need to ask her "do you like my city" because that question is answered by the gigantic smile on her face. From here onward 'ScienceGirl' is now known as 'SnowFlake' as she kinda has that Prince thing going on where she just randomly recreates, re-invents and switches things up. Including her name. Yeah, she is that bad ass! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The disturbing aspect of coming back from vacation is that you get slapped with a sledge hammer called reality. My reality punch surprised the living day lights out of me. From my lala land vacation I came back to even more racism. Violence towards women in my beloved South Africa is staggering and astonishingly nothing is being done to curb and stop it. Oscar Pistorious didn't help either by shooting his girlfriend. Gruesome gang rapes is a daily occurrence and is actually trending like a damn hash tag on Twitter or Instagram. To add further insult to injury, I came to find out that Sweden has the *second highest rape stats in the world and highest in Europe. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Surely I am not the only person appalled by these vile, disgusting and inhumane acts. I know I am not alone because I see all the posts, protests and petitions on social media. Does this do anything? Does this change anything? Is everything that simple that we merely change the world with a click of a button or a like or comment or retweet? I didn't think so! What is required is action! Where are the lawmakers? Where are the politicians? We don't need protests and likes and petitions. We need laws to be amended so that this vile disease can be ended. A strong message and stern warning should be sent and examples made that reverberates through generations. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Colin Out..... </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">*Sweden has the highest incidence of reported rapes in Europe and one of the highest in the world. The data is per capita of reported cases only. </span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15624727830250834088noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3956665865101324679.post-82907783901667314672013-01-10T19:53:00.000+01:002013-01-10T19:53:00.736+01:00Generalize! Who me? Never!<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I don't generalize; I state fact and refer back to previous experiences. Lately I've been accused of generalizing and not seeing aspects as individual cases. This knocked me on the chest and smacked me out of the ball park for a clean cut 6. However, being the ever illusive Saffa that I am, I rolled back into the ball park to state my case. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">* "<i>Women should stay in the kitchen and out of the boardrooms</i>" that's generalizing! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">* "<i>Black men have huge dicks</i>" that's generalizing! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">* "<i>All swedes are beautiful</i>" that's generalizing! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">* "<i>Africans are scared of water</i>" that's generalizing! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">* "<i>Dental care in Sweden is far from great and should just be called dental practice</i>" that's fact! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Allow me to explain, or no wait, why don't you revert back to each and every example I just stated and try to </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">justify </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">or dispute that statement.... </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Just this morning in the tunnelbana an elderly gentleman screamed at me pointing out the fact that my bag was destructing the traffic flow of commuters in the train. Bear in mind that my tiny laptop bag was actually resting on my lap and a mere 3cm was leaning over my lap towards the pathway of passengers walking by. Coupled with the fact that there was only 7 passengers in the entire carriage, made it even more funnier! This clearly infuriated this gentleman whose wife is probably banging someone else hence the morning anger(I cant blame her either if she is). Either that or he probably found out about his beloved daughter's African lover. I decided to infuriate him further by responding in my best Afrikaans-English Cape Colored accent stipulating that I don't understand him as I am not Swedish. At this point I could see his stroke starting to develop and he mustered out "Javla Invandrare". I just smiled and continued to listen to music. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"<i>Racism still alive, people just concealing it</i>" fact or generalizing? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Colin Out......</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">**Javla Invandrare = Fucken Immigrant**</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15624727830250834088noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3956665865101324679.post-26128539217756579482013-01-06T19:12:00.001+01:002013-01-06T19:12:38.971+01:0050 Shades of Fail!<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">First and foremost, happy new year and compliments of the season to you and your loved ones. May 2013 be just what you want it to be! Now that we have that out of the way, back to business. So what resolutions have people been conjuring up this new year and how are you keeping it up thus far? I spoke to this one senorita and her 2013 wish was "for a better sex life". I was slightly gobsmacked as she was standing with her boyfriend at the time and clutching the ever illusive "50 shades of grey" novel. Guys if your Mrs is reading this book, clearly you doing it wrong! Take a hint and enough with the missionary position already; you've mastered the art! In fact you are the missionary position gold medalist. With that being said, it's time to turn things around buddy. Clearly you not stimulating the most important sensual organ in your old lady and contrary to popular belief; it is not between her legs. I was referring to the brain my good man.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Yip, it all starts up there buddy so stop focusing downstairs from the get go! Go ahead and ask yourself 'self, why is my old lady reading this book?' I bet you $1m (this bet is valid and the currency is in Zim Dollars) your inner self will answer "because she is not being stimulated mentally and intellectually hence reverting to this poorly written wonderland". </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Trust me buddy, and I'm pretty sure you know what I'm talking about, but once your lady is turned on up there, you will require a mop and sponge to soak up the wetness afterwards. If at this point you asking how to turn her on up there, please do yourself a favor and walk away from your relationship. Its much better than her replacing you with some random Thunderkatt and you coming home to find your old lady tied up and butt naked while 'Jose' is pleasuring her with punishment. Don't say I didn't warn you! These things happen! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">At this point I know I'm being crucified and cursed by the many adoring fans of this book. To all of you, I apologize however I based my findings on observation and statistics. Out of the 20 random ladies I spoke to: </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgj4ErQoPrk5k24RUwSWpvVIydPNUxH0jPq4KfbpFhfEgd-MhQocAXkYy7W_almROpwEpe4X8QV_ZRHVvc5TmFBbg8cU0z1Tx6IhBlKdDdmSev_p9im8fZmik1bzE6m3bgyxogs4JSOge2U/s1600/50shadesofFiddy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgj4ErQoPrk5k24RUwSWpvVIydPNUxH0jPq4KfbpFhfEgd-MhQocAXkYy7W_almROpwEpe4X8QV_ZRHVvc5TmFBbg8cU0z1Tx6IhBlKdDdmSev_p9im8fZmik1bzE6m3bgyxogs4JSOge2U/s1600/50shadesofFiddy.jpg" height="320" width="256" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>*11 of them were single and craving.</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>*2 were in relationships with the sex life of a catholic nun at a convent. </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>*3 were engaging in random sexual acts with various fuck buddies but still felt as void and empty as the gaping hole they trying to fill. </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>*2 were unsure but then again they were also unsure about their sexuality, preference and also kept making reference to their medication.</i> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>*1 girl stopped reading at page 110 because she apparently had a brain aneurysm due to the bad writing and nonsense she was exposed to. </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I then focused my attention to some of the real ThunderKatts out there and asked them to purchase the book as a gift to their ladies and see what the outcome and response was. Thus far the response has been positive in the sense that all their ladies either laughed or questioned why they would give them that book. "We don't need this! He knows what he is doing" and "Our kinkiness makes this shit sound like sesame street" was my favorite response. </span></div>
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjr6r8W_q21MaUogIdu7dXxKue4q4JzPAPorKT82LKH3WME5YVFF2BZWYeprFY0zfICWeYz_y5QcAt_pA0zf2Lfsf-Y7Vh2XU95UHyUwIlV22rQ_sh3E7tPsbSEwA_rysoW6AZ5AlAGgHs3/s1600/50shadesoffilth.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjr6r8W_q21MaUogIdu7dXxKue4q4JzPAPorKT82LKH3WME5YVFF2BZWYeprFY0zfICWeYz_y5QcAt_pA0zf2Lfsf-Y7Vh2XU95UHyUwIlV22rQ_sh3E7tPsbSEwA_rysoW6AZ5AlAGgHs3/s1600/50shadesoffilth.png" height="160" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">diagram a</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Apparently certain ThunderKatts are giving classes on Wednesdays and Thursdays on '50 Shades of Cray: Putting the sensual back in non-consensual' for all you lost souls out there. Lesson 1 will be on the essentials and basics of <i>diagram a </i>so if you not familiar with this, please look in the mirror and question your existence Alternatively question your mother on why she never smothered you at child birth.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Colin Out.... </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>ps. all bets and wagers placed on this post are null and void as I was intoxicated at the time. Also I am not endorsed by any gaming or betting web site due to my belief in Black Baby Jesus. </i></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15624727830250834088noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3956665865101324679.post-33002226319369832722012-12-23T19:51:00.000+01:002012-12-23T19:51:39.929+01:00Are you a cock blocker?<h3>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Cock blocking ourselves! </span></h3>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I observed a young lad in the tunnelbana the other day who was clearly terrified when an absolutely breathtaking girl sat next to him. She clearly was begging and yearning for said young lad to just try and talk to her. She moved and "accidentally fell" vigorously within the motion of the train attempting to at least make body contact with this young lad but to no avail. You could see that he was clearly in pain and anguish as he was not only trying to hide his boner for this girl but somehow he couldn't just open his mouth and speak! "Say something dammit" I was shouting in my mind.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEil2ASb1ia1gF7F_vmz-IIHOhXEnqfMysVDvZ2bw4WHEzJP1iIw5-f50CvRRuc82rwvfqT7f2Eb3JUxadJoWeSWfRgt-SSnrXJcwQzLaTpvttbOZn4N8bKLtdLCASurDqmdeLLfA6sJI6Fr/s1600/cockblock.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEil2ASb1ia1gF7F_vmz-IIHOhXEnqfMysVDvZ2bw4WHEzJP1iIw5-f50CvRRuc82rwvfqT7f2Eb3JUxadJoWeSWfRgt-SSnrXJcwQzLaTpvttbOZn4N8bKLtdLCASurDqmdeLLfA6sJI6Fr/s1600/cockblock.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">As this clearly very disappointed young girl exited the train, she turned around one last time to stare at the toolbox of a guy. A sad, sad sight indeed I tell you. 'Housemate' and I discussed this in depth as she also doesn't understand why guys don't just grow a pair and talk to girls/women over here. Why do you wait till you inebriated? Why do you confide yourself to online dating? As the great StreetKat would say, "why do you subject yourself to such ridicule?" Why do we cock block ourselves? Is it because Sweden is a slightly feminist country therefore scaring the shit outta every guy to a sense where he doesn't even want to look at a woman? Or does it have something to do with <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Law_of_Jante" target="_blank">jantelagen</a> perhaps? Google that if you not familiar with Swedish laws. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Whatever the case may be, if the foundation has been laid, why doubt your building skills? She has already done all the hard work by flirting with her eyes or body gestures or in some cases a blatant obvious welcoming smile! So why are you scared? I really don't mean to brag but just for the record, I met 'ScienceGirl' on a bus! Yip, träffades på en buss! and I wasn't drunk! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Groups of guys constantly spend their boy's night out cock blocking themselves with worry and lots of silly questions like:</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHWyse1Q7y8jtljoeRBuazLb0jBe8mVnYF4GIz4h7CEsR12QVBvDp-Kxfz1QOe_nV3JwXdUsk2gSUCEAyaoy7DpBDs4h-SMEke_zqGvlLC8zIBPxZ8yOh_xzDDGxEZQBl6TXr28hxs95iq/s1600/cblock.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHWyse1Q7y8jtljoeRBuazLb0jBe8mVnYF4GIz4h7CEsR12QVBvDp-Kxfz1QOe_nV3JwXdUsk2gSUCEAyaoy7DpBDs4h-SMEke_zqGvlLC8zIBPxZ8yOh_xzDDGxEZQBl6TXr28hxs95iq/s1600/cblock.jpg" height="208" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">*<i>What do I say to her? </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>*What if she doesn't like me? </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>*How do I approach her? </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>*When do I kiss her?</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>*When do I stick it in? </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>*Should I jizz in the condom?</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>*My God should I even use a condom? </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>*When is it the right time to pee on her? </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>*Would I be weird if I ask her to finger my asshole?</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Enough with the questions guys, you just cock blocking yourself with all that doubt. <a href="http://sverigecolin.blogspot.se/2012/12/winter-is-here-weekly-tip-on-how-to-get.html" target="_blank">Grow a pair</a>, go over to her and before you know it....</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Colin Out....</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15624727830250834088noreply@blogger.com0