Monday, 10 September 2012

This is so not for me!

To this very day I still have no idea what came over me this past weekend to actually follow through with what I am about to share with you. Maybe it was my current financial situation(not like that has ever stopped me before). Or could it be the raging stomach ulcer that caused so much pain and agony that my house mate Scandalus called the medics? Hell maybe it was the fact that I could actually see and feel my liver throbbing and making pulsating like movements while I was in colossal discomfort. Whatever it was, I decided to have a quite weekend. Yes, you heard right! A quite weekend. Now as a 25 year old partykat with a reputation that puts most folk in stitches with laughter, this was something really intricate and difficult to do.

Believe me I live for partying and GOOD times so needless to say I felt like a psycho and serial killer in the making on Friday night. Sitting at home watching movies and playing PS3 just felt so weird. I could hear my inner voice of reason shouting and screaming to me like a mother screaming to her drowning son. It wasn't pretty. To this day I still do not know where I gathered the strength to decline a few phone calls and text messages for 'drinks' from. These calls and messages later turned to "dude are you okay, whats wrong" and "buddy are you dying, why aren't you out". Somehow trying to explain to people that you having a quiet weekend was a bigger task than I anticipated.

Waking up on Saturday morning without a hangover or NOT in some strange place I had no recollection of was very weird. That weird feeling felt good but was soon replaced with sadness as that little inner voice was back again. This time he was livid and furiously shouting at me "Let me out!". So I did just that. I went to support my friend at the Swedish National Cross fit Championship where they do NOT serve beer or any alcoholic beverage. Inner voice was not happy! A little side note:
*These competitions is NOT a pick up ground as these chicks are mean and they will kick your ass.
*Do not take your girl with you to this event! There is half naked men that look like they jumped off the cover of the GQ magazine. You will end up single or pretty soon your Mrs will start implementing new role play sex where you now have a different name every time she closes her eyes and pictures that dude pushing weights.

After the competition I went home and was soooo bored out of my mind I started cleaning the apartment. Once again, not something I would do out of necessity. This is more a task you only complete when you have a lady friend coming over for some red wine and coitus activity. I also couldn't have chosen a worse weekend as there was no football on the telly. I therefore had to ration my rugby, cricket and Formula 1 viewing like a British citizen in the 1940's. Not even the page turning thriller "Lolly Jackson" could shut up my inner voice. By Sunday I was totally lost and my inner voice was depressed and broken. I decided 'fuck it' and gave him a treat by watching the Formula 1 with a few 6 packs of ice cold Stella. He was happy.

Myself, Inner voice and 'ScienceGirl' then hit the streets on Sunday night. I told her about my utterly useless and dull weekend to which she made an interesting point; "there is enough time to do these things when you married with kids". Very true I would say because no bachelor/spinster is suppose to have quiet weekends. That was surely the last time I will ever endure a quiet weekend.

"Have we not all eternity to rest in? Why do we seek to rest while you are still alive?"

Colin out....

1 comment:

  1. Dog I could hear your liver pounding not to mention the blood curdling howling coming from what I thought at the time was a horror movie you had decided to indulge in, regardless of warning that we see enough horror in the hood!!!!