Sunday, 3 May 2015

One unified greeting dammit!

Just last week my road dogg and sidekick Scandalus Mandalus hinted at the fact that I was picking up weight and that the gym sessions are starting to show. This took me by surprise because you wont exactly catch me lifting shit, let alone pushing weights in the gym. For a moment it crossed my mind that maybe Scandalus has onset visual impairment. I let it slide because one of the symptoms of visual impairment is randomly handing out PK's for no reason on purpose. Trust me, you do not want to get a PK from Scandalus. I pinned his comment down to the visual impairment and promised myself to find a way of telling him to get his eyes checked without risking a PK. 

Scandalus' proclamation was hardly cold in my mind when yet another individual commented on my physique again. This time, I decided to investigate(insert Julius Malema voice) and examine myself. To my sheer confusion I noticed that my shoulders, arms and torso has gained mass however, the rest of my body is still small. You can only but imagine my bewilderment at this discovery because I am always the first to tease these huge gym dudes with the skinny legs. Taunting and asking them why they skip leg day? Yet I was looking like a 'mini me' version of them.

After much deliberation, I pinned my upper body growth to my recent trip home and greeting my fellow African brothers. As strange as this sounds, let me explain... 
You have to be in physical shape when you greet my African brethren every day. Not only is the hand shake complex but the arm strength needed when you pulled in for the double back pat is immense. Compare that to the katts over here in the EU that just indulges you with a simple hand shake. Throw in my Scandinavian homies who strictly 'kram' (that's Swedish for hugs) and to confuse me more, add our 'kiss greet' Cape Town flavor and you get one confused AfriSwede over here. 

On numerous occasions I find myself trying to 'kiss greet' Swedish folk because I just came from hanging out with my Cape Town peoples. Needless to say the expression on their face is one of shock and horror. More so is the look of confusion and revulsion when I try and greet my African brethren with a simple hand shake. I get confused okay! and its very hard to keep up. Cant we just get one unified greeting already....

Maybe something with our legs. That way I get to work out my legs and wont end up looking like the dude in the picture!

Isaacs IN

AfriSwede IN!

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