I am not a superstitious individual nor do I believe in hocus pocus but this recent spate of illusions are concerning. I would rather much have nightmares involving circus folk trying to anally probe me than being violently executed. Maybe its the dark Swedish winter affecting me? Maybe my body is just not used to falling asleep sober? Whatever it may be, I am not happy with this and it needs to stop.
Someone recommended that I see a 'dream specialist' to have my nightmares interpreted to which I burst out with laughter. The only reason why I laughed because it was the only reaction that would prevent me from punching said individual in the face. Go ahead, try it. You cannot punch or slap someone while laughing vigorously. Have my nightmares interpreted pppfftt! You must've lost your God damn mind yes. Give me three bottles of RedHeart Rum and I will interpret my own damn dreams and nightmares.
*Side Note* now that I'm done bitching and moaning, watch out for those much anticipated tips on 'how to get laid' coming soon