Saturday, 15 December 2012

Xmas is here: Weekly tip on how to get laid

The Bumblebee 

After my brief description of Botham and LaFaille's advise on how to increase your chances on 'the pull' I must admit, I am pleasantly surprised at the response. Both from the ladies as well as from the katts out there. I therefore decided to incorporate both parties for this weeks hot tip, The Bumblebee! 

During this amazing summer, I had the privilege of seeing LaFaille's fellow countrymen and Olympic medalist 'Gaspard' in action. Man was this katt something special and different. Not only was he fluent in almost every language that the women were conversing in, he was also very entertaining and had the confidence of a midget with a 12 inch cock! 'Gaspard' obviously knew what his strengths and weaknesses were and surely capitalized on this. The aspect that surprised me the most was that his mates actually calls him 'The Bumblebee' 

Once again, for my ill-informed brethren out there, a bumblebee is a social insect that is important for pollinating plants that provide much of our food. They often visit numerous flowers exhibiting pollination syndrome. Like the bumblebee, 'Gaspard' also hop, skips and jumps from one flower to the next. He entertains them just long enough to keep them guessing but simultaneously short to ensure maximum results. Its like watching someone on a speed date that makes every single woman laugh and smile and leaves them with hope in their eyes. For all we know, 'Gaspard' could be telling the same damn jokes, stories or one liners all the damn time to each and every woman. 

I asked 'ScienceGirl' and 'TheeVanessa' about this phenomenon and surprise surprise they confirmed it! The Bumblebee is an actual thing! You see when doing this, you will make people wonder about you. They start asking themselves questions like "what is it about that guy that's got everyone captivated?" Once performed and actioned correctly, people will then actually start coming up to you because they are intrigued. It is vital at this point to not give away too much. "Women can see when you have that desperate look in your eyes" says ScienceGirl. "Once we sense the desperation, you already lost as we then have no further interest" she adds. 

From what I can gather, its actually very simple. 

*Do not talk to the same girl for longer than you suppose to. 

*Try and leave the conversation on a high and then politely excuse yourself. 

*Leave your desperate, crazy eye look at home because nobody likes drool. 

*Kissing is strictly forbidden as this automatically closes all your accounts and isolates you to the one that you just slapped lips with.  

If all else fails, revert to copious amounts of Vodka+RedBull, hit the dance floor and just let go. This is always a guaranteed winner as it usually leads to you waking up somewhere strange while some random girl whispers on the cellphone to her mate "OMG, I cant believe I got so drunk and slept with that dancefloor guy of last night"

Colin Out...

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