Wednesday, 8 August 2012

Too Hot To Handle

Say what you want, but Swedish women are amongst the hottest and most beautiful women on planet earth. Yes, Yes, I know. Brazil blah blah blah Latin American, Eastern European blah blah blah. Yeah, I hear you BUT when you think 'high concentration of fine females in the same proximity' nothing beats Sweden. For this reason I personally think there is/was nothing wrong with Usain Bolt celebrating his 100m dominance with a few lovely Swedish ladies. Hell, if you are the greatest track athlete and fastest man on earth, you should be able to celebrate however you want.

I've been residing in Sweden for quite some time now and I can testify that women all over the country are not only breathtakingly beautiful. They are also well educated, informed and surprisingly friendly. I literally fall in love every day and the streets of Stockholm are packed with these stunning women, who are as tall as they are luscious. I can honestly say what you see on these typical commercials is true; Sweden really does have some of the worlds most beautiful women.

Just think of the first time you arrived in Sweden or visited here. That surreal realization that everything you ever heard is infact true. Think of how in shock and awe you were when you stepped into a 7-Eleven, PressbyrĂ„n or local supermarket. You probably weren't sure whether you accidentally walked into a modeling agency or whether this was the casting or a set of a new reality TV show called "insanely hot models doing regular shit". Yes, I remember that feeling all too well.

Now I know you thinking "where is the catch?" Trust me, my old man always told me that when its too good to be true, it usually is. You see the price you pay for this exquisite beauty my dear obnoxious male friends, is castration.

Yes, you heard right. Castration and if you are lucky, maybe she will let you keep one of your testicles(eiers for my fellow Northern Suburbians back in The Great CPT). This is the price you pay if you dwell with the finest female specimen in the universe. Get used to a life of 'fokkol rights' because in all honesty, your opinion doesn't meant shit. But c'mon guys, do we really care about rights, opinions, individual traits, personality, our legacy and losing our dignity and manhood? Walk around in the streets of Stockholm and observe. You will find the answer.

With that said, I'm off to Göteborg for a week of debauchery with the lads....

Colin out......

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